Living Situation Update

I’m departing from my usual Friday Free-For-All post because this has been weighing on my mind, and I need to get it all out there.  A few weeks ago, I mentioned that Ben and I might be moving back in with his parents.  Well, it’s official.  We will be moving in with his parents effective September 1.

There were a lot of factors that contributed to this decision, and since many of them involve my sister/roommate and it’s kind of personal, I won’t go into detail except to say that we were at a financial impasse.  There will be good things and bad things about this situation, so I’m just gonna dump some pros and cons here to help me organize my thoughts.


  • We’ll be saving a crap-ton of money, which is especially important since Ben will not be working for the next 8 months (cue panic attack)
  • Ben’s parents generally eat really well–lots of produce from their garden, fresh eggs from their chickens etc
  • There’s a horse, chickens, 2 doggies and 2 kitties, so we’ll be in animal heaven, and Creemee will have playmates
  • Their house is way warmer and more insulated than our apartment, which will be wonderful come winter
  • My new gym is directly between work and the in-laws, so I’ll have more occasion to actually go, work out, and take classes
  • My future in-laws are COOL.  We like to hang out, drink, talk, and eat together.  They make good roomies
  • They also go away a lot, which means that Ben and I will kind of have our own place sometimes
  • We’ll be living out in the country, which means it will be quieter and darker, which means I will most likely sleep better


  • Running will be a challenge.  They live on an extremely hilly (all uphill) dirt road, which is off of a super hilly, windy road with no shoulder and a high speed limit.  If I want to run outside, I’ll have to risk my life or drive somewhere
  • 45 minute commute each way to and from work.  No more walking or biking, and I’ll have to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn to get to work on time
  • We’ll be living in the boonies, which will make our social life much more of a challenge.  We currently live right downtown.
  • Once again, most of our stuff will be in storage.  At least this time we’ll get to have our own bed, dressers, clothes etc, but even so, I won’t have my kitchen-aid mixer, my pots and pans, my knives, my books etc.
  • Lack of personal space.  Not in the traditional sense–Ben’s folks are great about letting us do our own thing around the house.  It’s just that we’ll be surrounded by THEIR things, and not our things, and at the end of the day it’s THEIR house, and not ours, which may make me feel uncomfortable.
  • This is silly to be upset about, but his parents don’t have a dryer–everything is hang dry, either on the clothes line in the summer, or on clothes racks indoors in the winter, which means that the laundry turnaround time is a lot longer.  This can be problematic for someone like me who has a small wardrobe.

Aside from all this, there’s just so much to DO.

  • We need to secure a storage unit for all the stuff (mostly furniture) that we won’t be bringing to the house with us.
  • We need to decide what’s going into storage, what’s coming with us, and what we’re ditching
  • Make at least one Goodwill trip to ditch the stuff we’re ditching
  • Pack all our junk
  • Fill the storage unit.
  • Move all the junk we ARE taking to Underhill (45 minute drive)
  • Patch the holes and clean the apartment so we can get our security deposit back from the landlord, who is notorious for finding any excuse to deduct $ from the security deposit
  • Get new tires on the truck so it will pass inspection so we actually have two vehicles and can both get to work/school

And then aside from all THAT junk, there’s that whole thing where we’re supposed to be planning a wedding.  We talked yesterday, and decided that any wedding planning needs to be postponed until things calm the f*&^ down.  Once we’re settled in Underhill, and Ben gets a feel for what the workload for the T.A.P program will be like, we can start to figure out wedding crap.  Oy.

And now, to end on a happy note:  this morning, I found a lucky penny on my way to work.

Photo Jul 25, 7 33 51 AM

Not only was it lying on the sidewalk face up, it was made in my birth year.  It was a nice little sign from the Universe that everything is gonna be ok.  The best part is, there were pennies every 6 – 8 feet along the sidewalk for a 1/2 mile stretch along my way to work.  I’m not sure if it was intentional, or if someone was just hemorrhaging change as they walked, but now there are a bunch of lucky pennies out there for other people today too.   And it just so happens that the first one I saw and picked up was MY lucky penny.  So awesome.

Have you ever found a lucky penny?

Do you believe in “signs” from the Universe?

12 thoughts on “Living Situation Update

  1. dgobs says:

    Hugs! That’s a lot going on right now. At least you have a big pros list there… it’ll be nice to have those if the cons start getting to you! It’s so great that you get along well with Ben’s folks (that’s huge!) but I would feel the same about being in someone else’s place, surrounded by all their stuff instead of my own. I hope it all goes well!

    A few years ago, after reading The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, I was definitely into the idea of the universe sending signs, or “conspiring in my favor.” That book was a comfort in a time of upheaval in my life, but I’ve tried to read it again and haven’t enjoyed it. I definitely think things happen for a reason and sometimes signs to appear! I haven’t found a lucky penny since I was a kid. I love that yours had your birth year on it! 🙂

    • DarlinRae says:

      Thanks for the hugs! I know this is what’s best for us, it’s just a lot to deal with in a short period of time. I’m hopeful that in a month or two things will be calmer.

  2. txa1265 says:

    Sorry you’re forced into that situation, but glad it will be manageable. I couldn’t imagine having lived with EITHER of our parents … so it is great that your situation is manageable.

    I think it is very smart to make a list, as that gives you things to work with and work on over time … I’m sure the list will change, but having it up front now is very helpful!

    I am generally not much of a ‘signs from the universe’ person … but maybe that is because I am a statistician and can calculate all of those ‘what are the odds … ‘ questions 🙂

    • DarlinRae says:

      Lists are my jam- they help clear my head and break large, scary things into manageable chunks. Just listing everything out here has made me feel better because from here I can make a plan/checklist and get to work!

  3. runsaltrun says:

    Ugh. :-\ I definitely think you guys are doing the right thing, but I am very weird about my personal space so I totally get all of that. And I don’t think you are being odd at all about the dryer situation. I would feel the same way. I hope you can find some running routes that work for you while you’re there. Lots of hill repeats?

    I have never found a lucky penny before. I need one STAT!

  4. kebe51 says:

    Whoa, just whoa! I’m exhausted just reading about all that! BUT like you said, universe is telling you it will all work out. And it will all work out!

  5. SuzLyfe says:

    Woof. Yeah, that is quite a bit going on. If there is one thing that I can tell you, maybe don’t look at it as a sign, or a “things happen for a reason” or whatever–you know what I mean, looking for an explanation–but take it for what it is, and look with interest and anticipation to what comes out of it. Not to make it about me, but look at all the crazy that went on in my life since I started this blog, and where I am now. Like the regression/progression post I wrote last week–sometimes you need to step back to leap forward. Plus, I have learned so, so much about myself and what I truly need in life (both materialistically and emotionally) through these types of paring-down times. Think of it as an adventure! I always get more excited when I think of things as a game/puzzle to be solved rather than a challenge. these times can be hard, frustrating, and sometimes will take you to the brink.

    My other biggest piece of advice? Maintain/develop/work on communication. If something is bothering you, speak to it. Address it. With whomever is involved. That has been the biggest key to my and Alex’s relationship.
    Good luck my friend!

    • DarlinRae says:

      Thank you for all the advice. With every day that goes by, I’m finding more things about this situation to be happy about than upset about, and I know no matter what we’re going to be ok.

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