Why You Won’t Be Seeing Much of Baby Girl on the Blog

Even before becoming pregnant, Ben and I had a lot of discussions about the presence we wanted our children to have on social media. From the get-go, Ben was adamant that putting pictures and anecdotes about our kids on the internet made him deeply uncomfortable, and he’d prefer that we keep our kids completely offline.

As a blogger and social media devotee, I was less convinced. How in the world would I share pictures easily so that friends and family could access them? How could I continue to blog about my life and family without including pictures of our future kids? As time went on, however, and especially after becoming pregnant, I realized that what Ben had been saying all along resonated with me more strongly. Thus, we’ve made the unanimous decision to minimize any sort of online presence for our kids until they’re old enough to decide for themselves what/how much they want to share. Here are a few reasons why.

Agency and Choice For Our Children
I understand that some people choose to be open books online, and love sharing photos and stories about their kids on their blogs or social media channels. It works for them, and I offer no judgement, truly. I just worry about how my own kids would feel about it when they grow up. Some day, my kids are going to want to create their own online lives, and for them to find out they’ve already got a lifetime of photos and stories about them online might not be happy news.

I think we can all agree that the internet is a scary freaking place sometimes. I don’t think I need to go into details (though I could post numerous examples), but suffice to say, I don’t want complete strangers all over the world, or even close to home, to have access to photos of my kids.

It seems like not a day goes by without some stupid click-baity article posted about celebrity parents being called out for things like not properly buckling a car seat or their kids being “too skinny” or “too fat” or some other BS thing, all because they posted a photo online. But the thing is, this happens to “normal” parents too. Posting photos of your kids automatically invites comments. The vast majority are benign and even supportive, but you just never know what someone else is going to have to say about your parenting choices, and I’d much rather have those conversations one-on-one as needed, rather than via Instagram, ya know? Sidenote: when I posted a pic of my car seat installation, I had a comment about a better alternative within 5 minutes. Granted, it came from a place of helpfulness rather than judgment, but that’s EXACTLY the kind of thing I’m trying to avoid… Lesson learned!

All of the above means that you probably won’t see many pictures of Baby Girl, or any future kiddos, here on the blog. I’m sure they’ll pop up occasionally, but my determined rule is that there will be no “full face” photos, meaning you’ll be seeing a lot of back-of-the-head shots, emoji-over-the-face shots, or from-a-distance shots. I think this will be the sweet spot for maintaining my children’s privacy while still being able to share about my life. This will also likely mean that any updates post-baby will be focused on me and my recovery/return to fitness adventures versus posts about Baby Girl’s development.

Also, I’ve finally taken the leap and made a separate Instagram account for the blog, and made my personal Instagram account private. From here on out, blog-y, fitness-y stuff can be found on the handle @darlin_rae, while more personal and family stuff will be on @rbdinvt. If you’ve been following my personal Instagram for a while, don’t worry, I won’t boot you! But I will be VERY selective about who gets access going forward.

This also means that we need to have a firm conversation with family and friends about not sharing photos of our kids on social media without our permission. I will be the first to admit that in the past, I have shared photos of other people’s kids without giving it a second thought. But becoming a parent myself has made me realize that that’s really not cool. I don’t anticipate that this will be a fun or easy conversation, but it has to be done if we hope to maintain our kids’ privacy the way we want.

Parents, how did/do you handle social media sharing with small children?

10 thoughts on “Why You Won’t Be Seeing Much of Baby Girl on the Blog

  1. veryrach says:

    I love that you found a way to share with your family and friends w/out plastering your kids all over your blog and such. Do what works for YOU! Also, I love that you are keeping this blog about you and your life, recovery, etc! I think that’s great, cuz that’s what I originally followed you for! Good luck with your birthing!

  2. A Single Parent's Life says:

    My family has no clue about my blog nor do most of my friends. Although my blog isn’t all that big I do not want pictures of my kids out there so Ibjust do not post them. When talking about people in my life or the kids everyone has a nickname so no one is called by their real name. I feel I can share more and say more than I would if it was any different.

    My facebook page is where I share pictures and things for friends and the few family I talk to. The kids know I post pictures and things they do on there they like it don’t care. I figure it will give them something to look back on later and remeber things and see pictures that other wise wouldn’t get written down or kept had they not been put on line.

    • Rae says:

      My husband and a few friends know about the blog, so I do have to be somewhat careful about what I say and share, but that’s ok with me. I’m not on Facebook these days due to privacy concerns as well, so I plan to mostly share baby photos via email or special apps that only family and friends can access. Once the kids are old enough to have an opinion, I may or may not start posting more widely.

  3. Anna @ Piper's Run says:

    I’ve gone back and forth on this one. I did share pictures of my kids on my blog – though I’m really not blogging much these days. I try to watermark it so that if it’s stolen, my names all over it. I always ask friends if I can post pictures of their kids first…I never assume it’s okay. I too created a personal account on IG of my family and continue my pipersrun for just running/workouts.
    My sister was really bad for sharing our kids photos without permission and she has “friends” all over the world on her personal page (connections she’s made through her dog)…anyway…I told her to stop posting pictures of our girls on her FB.

    • Rae says:

      Good for you, Anna! It’s so hard to strike the perfect balance. Watermarking your photos is a great idea. I used to do that a lot, but stopped. I think I will resume the practice going forward, especially with any kid photos.

  4. SuzLyfe says:

    As someone who made the decision to put my kids out there (I did so with Alex’s support), I totally respect your decision. I’m glad you made the decision that is right for your family. That is all that matters!

    • Rae says:

      YES! It is a choice that each family has to make for themselves, and as long as you are happy, I’m happy! (Also Emmie is SO CUTE and I’m really glad I get to see her little face all the time!)

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