I haven’t done a workout since my run on Monday. Strangely, I don’t feel that guilty or worried about it. I’ve had a nice week. I got to have dinner with Ben’s parents, relax at home with my kitten while she recovered from surgery, and had a date night with Ben since he’s going to be gone all weekend. I love running and I fully intend to keep up with my training and goals, but I also don’t want to sacrifice other things I love to do and let running become all-consuming.
I was a theater major in college, and have been involved with the performing arts since I was 9 years old. For a long time, theater and theater-related activities consumed my life. I didn’t do any extra-curricular activities except drama and chorus until senior year of high school, at which point I joined dance team (hello, still performing) and the track team as a thrower (while still doing chorus and drama). During my college years, I was always either in class, working, rehearsing, or driving to rehearsals all over the northern part of the state. I’ve missed birthday parties, family vacations… Hell, I even missed my own high school graduation because I was at a theater internship. While at the time I thought I was living the dream, and I had some really amazing experiences, I look back now on some of the things I missed and I’m like, Damn, was it worth it? Maybe, maybe not. And now, even though I still desperately love theater, I’m reluctant to get involved in a show because of the required time commitment.
So I don’t want running to be like that. I don’t want to miss fun events just so I can hit the gym. I don’t want to go to bed at 9 every night so I can wake up at the crack of dawn and run. I don’t want to arrange my whole life around running like I did with theater. I don’t want to trade “I can’t, I have rehearsal” for “I can’t, I have to run.” And that’s ok. I know this. Running is fun. It makes me feel strong and sexy and powerful. I’m not trying to become an elite here, so I don’t have to be “in training” all the time. It’s possible to find balance, and that’s what I intend to do.